The philosophy for CK Design revolves around staying authentic and striving for transparency. I don’t think we have to share EVERYTHING that goes on in our day-to-day, or everything that has happened to us. However, for me and for the values I hold in my business(es) revolve around being as authentic and transparent as possible. I’m human. I care about my customers. 9 times out of 10 my customers become friends. I value their growth and I value their finances. I value your finances. I never ever want to put someone in a position where they feel pressured into a sale. I put a lot of thought into my pricing, and I value my time, but I also care about growth. If you’re in it to win it – man… I’ll be one of your biggest cheerleaders.That said, CK Design is a little new. It’s a new business baby of mine and I’d like to share some insight into the owner (me). I shared a post on my instagram page this week already about the lessons I’ve learned this year so far, but I thought I might dig a little deeper for each one on here.

JANUARYWe welcomed our second daughter into this world in December. The first two months of having this new bundle of joy taught me that my heart can expand and grow. I was nervous about losing love for my eldest, myself, and my husband. But instead of losing love, I felt a new kind of love. Large. Huge. Bigly. It felt like my body had become a cozy home for emotions. I welcomed all the laughs, cries, joy, anger… each one had a little spot on a couch in my heart.

FEBRUARYMy birthday month. I turned another year older. I’m now 31 years old. As I typed that I actually had to do the math. Growing older and having birthed some babes, I’ve learned to love the body that God has given me. The stretch marks on my thighs and belly… those stretch marks are proof that I carried a living soul inside of me. My saggy belly button, that’s proof that you can have an asshole on your front and back. Just kidding, not really. I’m going to get a little spiritual here, but that saggy belly button is a reminder of how I felt with our first daughter. She moved mountains inside of me and I felt a relationship with God that I haven’t felt in at least two decades. This month I also got hit with postpartum depression. I’m very open about that. I feel like too many people feel ashamed about having to deal with depression in general, and it’s a very abstract illness. You can’t see it, you can’t show people what it feels like, it’s hidden. It’s not like you broke your arm and you can show someone ‘hey! look! I’m broken and in pain. Touch it and you can see me wince from pain… doesn’t it look like it hurts?’ Depression, anxiety, any mental illness – there’s nothing to show for it. It’s difficult to grasp. I’ve had two friends very close to my heart take their life due to depression. It doesn’t discriminate, and it’s a very serious illness. If you’re going through depression, postpartum depression, know that I see you. I see you, friend. And you’re not alone. Not in the least bit.

MARCHWhat happened in March?  Well, I had my first workshop. A brand phoneography workshop. Maybe you saw me advertise the crap out of it, maybe you didn’t. Either way, no one signed up for it. I had to call in as many people as I could get from friends, family and my mom. I got a couple of friends who happen to own businesses that were able to make it, which is good. It taught me to stay humble. But mostly it taught me how much I care about what I’m trying to offer through CK Design. I see this workshop growing into other classes and workshops that can really help small business owners who just do not have the funds or resources to help build their brand. Educational and empowering. I’m very proud of the work I put into that workshop and I’m looking forward to hosting another one.

APRILFriends. This one is a doozy. I had a hard time sharing this initially, because I was worried it might be too transparent and that maybe I’d turn away clients from sharing this mistake. However, this is a big one that I feel so many business owners (and people in general) can relate to. If it turns business away, then they probably aren’t my people to begin with. What was this mistake? I lost an SD card that had 90% of the wedding photos I had just taken. In Cancun. So I can’t ever get them back. They’re gone. A lot of angry tears, shame, embarrassment, and fear. I was afraid that I might lose a good friend. I was angry that I let such a silly thing happen. I was ashamed because I knew better. And I was embarrassed because It’s a mistake that never should have happened. Luckily, my friend and I have had a long history and she and her husband have been so incredibly graceful towards me and understanding. I don’t think I could have asked for a better reaction. Full refund ($2,600+…. OUCH), custom painting, free paintings, and anything else that I can possibly do to make it right for them. It’ll never be what it could have been, so I have to do whatever I can to help make it as good as it can be.

I’ve learned how to fail gracefully. So, friends. There you have it. We’ll see what March brings… hopefully more 4 leaf clovers to make up for the last four months. Ha! However, there’s growth in failure. There’s growth in mistakes. There’s growth in pain. So even if 2019 continues to be a little bumpy – I at least know that there’s growth and learning that come along side it.*EDIT* May will teach me how to proof read. March happens BEFORE April. Whoops.